Depression--The Unseen Deadly Illness

Long depression might cause someone to commit suicide

Life is hard. That’s what most people say about life—and, sadly, it’s true. Everyday we face pressure from our surrounding—family, friends, school, work, and other things. For some people, life is too hard that they fall into a deep and long depression that destroys their lives. If they are lucky, the may survive the dark times, but if they are not, it might end with suicide.

Life has never been easy to a friend of mine, Luke (26). Luke is gay—and he was born from a very religious family. Since elementary school, he was often bullied by his peers for being feminine and by the age of 13 he realized that he romantically and sexually attracted to same-sex.

Although he realized the risk he would face if he come out to his family, Luke decided to tell his parent about his sexuality when he was 19.

“I want my parent to know me, to know the truth about their son and accept me for who I am. My dad was furious when I told him and my mom couldn’t stop crying. They said that I should go to the doctor and cure this ‘illness’.”

Not long after this, Luke decided to move out from his house and didn’t speak with his mom for 4 months and another 3 months with his father.

But it wasn’t the only problem that he had to face. When he was 22, rumor about his sexuality began to spread in his workplace and some of his colleague became hostile towards him and eventually he was ‘politely asked’ to resign from the job. This happen shortly after he was dumped by his boyfriend whom he dated for 2 years.

This series of unfortunate events made Luke fell in to deep depression.

“I couldn’t stop crying, especially due to the lost of my boyfriend. I could handle about losing my job, but losing the person that I love and I thought love me is incredibly painful. I felt so unloved and unworthy. And I don’t know what to do, I couldn’t tell my parents and I only have few friend who know that I am gay.”

Although he found another job, thanks to his friend, Luke couldn’t get over his heartbreak and began to consume sleeping pills so that he didn’t need to spend another night crying over his ex-boyfriend and became addicted to it. At this point he even thought of ending his life.

“I felt I have no point for living. I am the black sheep in my family and the love of my life left me. I have no use to anyone. I didn’t think someone would cry in my funeral… One night, I had a thought of taking a big amount of sleeping pills but that before I could do it I got a call from my mother and we talk for about half an hour—normal conversation, and after she hanged up, I cried myself to sleep.”

Luke began counseling session with a psychologist. He was advised to keep himself busy and try to open his heart to another person. After six months of counseling, Luke started to feel better about life and decided to slowly move on with his life. Now, Luke finally overcome his addiction to sleeping pills and although he has not yet began a relationship after his break up years ago, he keep himself busy by become active in a theatre community and campaigning about HIV awareness in LGBT community in Jakarta.

Luke is lucky. But not all people could survive this situation. A relative of a friend of mine also experienced a similar circumstance as Luke and despite many efforts, he couldn’t overcome his depression and hanged himself in June 2017.

The suicide rate in Indonesia may have decreased than a decade ago. A report from FKUI showed that in 2016 there is only 840 cases of suicide compare to 30.000 cases in 2005, however this is only from reported cases as most people find suicide is shameful. Report also show that male tend to commit suicide compare to female because the person feel ashamed to talk about their problems so they keep quiet instead of seeking help and as the result, if they couldn’t overcome their depression, they committed suicide.

Believe in Yourself & Believe in Your Dreams

What is your biggest dream in life? Do you want to travel the world? Do you want to be a Hollywood star or Broadway actor or actress? Or probably you just dream to have a small happy family. No matter what your dreams are, no matter how big or simple it is, you’ll always find obstacle that trying to block you to make your dreams come true. It happened to me.

A picture that I draw to remind me of my goals

Five years ago, attending university is just a dream for me. For some people, going to university is easy—it’s a simple thing, but for me, it is something that out of my reach at that time because my family couldn’t afford me to go to university. But that is not the only obstacle that I had to face, because I had another one that is even a bigger obstacle—my father’s support.

My father believed that university is only waste of money and that I should work and make money for myself. In the opposite, I have many dreams (some people said that my dreams are impossible to happen) and one of them is attending university, because I always believe that education is important and it would help me in the future—for me, attending university is the first step to make the other dreams come true.

It was very hard for me at that time without the full support of my father, but I decided to stand up for myself and do anything to help me to make my dreams come true. I knew that what I did is somewhat selfish but I do believe that I can make my parent proud of me.

So I spent three years after high school to save money to go to university. It wasn’t easy too because I realize the temptation of having monthly income had distract many people that I know from their dreams, but I remained focus to my goals.

Eventually, after I applied my registration to university, my father become more supportive than he ever been—probably after he saw my willingness and hard work. Finally, I left my hometown with the blessing from my parent.

During the flight to Jakarta, I kept thinking how incredible it is that my dream is finally come true. And from that point, I learned that no matter how big your dream is, no matter how big the obstacles you face, it will come true as long as you don’t stop believing in yourself, in your dream, and never ever give up.

HAPPINESS IS BEING GRATEFUL

• How gratefulness relates to our happiness?
• What can we do to feel grateful?

In the eight episode of Netflix's The Crown season 2 that recounts the relationship between Queen Elizabeth II and U.S. First Lady Jacqueline Kennedy, The Queen Mother remarks how unhappy Mrs. Kennedy was with her marriage with JFK who just got assassinated, to which Queen Elizabeth replied "That's the thing about unhappiness: all it takes is for something worse to happen, and you realize it was really happiness after all."

So what is happiness actually? According to the Queen, happiness is simple: it's being grateful. But how being grateful can relate to our happiness. Feeling grateful or showing gratitude may improve a positive energy in our selves. In 2003, a study conducted by University of Miami shows that a group of student who are instructed to write a diary which focusing on gratitude or blessing experienced a more positive mood in there lives compared to those who writes about natural events or annoyance.

Feeling grateful also helps to people who are suffering from deep stress or trauma. For some people who experienced long sadness, feeling grateful for those people who help them through the hardest time—such as friends or family—may boost their self-esteem as it also may help to build a good social bond with other people.

Showing gratitude is not only helps our selves but it also can help other people feel better about themselves. A study found that people who express gratitude to their partner feel more comfortable with their relationship. An employer who expressed gratitude to their employers might help the employers to feel motivated in their work.

Several ways can be done for us to show out gratitude, either by thanking someone verbally or remember other people kindness. For religious people, praying is the best communication to God and being grateful for what they already have. Some people have another way to show their gratitude such as by writing down what are the good things that they experienced and how they feel about. All is to remind us about the good thing that made them happy.

So perhaps whenever we feel that our life is filled with unhappiness, we probably should see what we have around us and be grateful about it because, maybe, the happiness is already in front of us all the time.

A FAMILY REUNION DINNER IN CHINESE NEW YEARS

• Reunion dinner is the most important moment in a year
• Longevity noodles and New Year’s Cake is an important menu

Chinese New Year is the moment for family reunion

Chinese New Year is one of the most celebrated holidays in Indonesia, especially for Chinese descendant family. One a year, Chinese people will visit friends or relatives, usually wearing red clothes, giving angpao to children, and most importantly, Chinese New Year is the moment for family reunion. However, the reunion is not just happen on the D-day, but the night before--Chinese New Year's Eve. Usually this moment is known as reunion dinner when family gather to have dinner together, which considered as one of the most important get-together moment for the entire year.

Longevity Noodle is a mandatory menu during Chinese New Year

Family members who doesn't live at the same house, such as the children who go to college, will come back home to have dinner with their family. Eventhough the menu may vary from one house to another, there are several well known menu for this special dinner. Fried noodles is always become main menu in family dinner. This Chinese cuisine symbolises longevity, with hope that family member will have long live in the entire year. Other important menu in this celebration is Nian Gao or Chinese New Year's cake, known in Indonesia as Kue Keranjang. Nian Gao literal meaning is sticky cake but it also homonym for "a higher year", therefore it symbolises good luck for the entire year.

Nevertheless, whatever the menu that is served in the reunion dinner, the most important thing about Chinese New Year is about spending a good time with family.

ALL-STAR CAST BOARDING THE ORIENT EXPRESS—ONE FOUND DEAD, DOZENS BECOME SUSPECTS!

• ·         An American man is stabbed to death in the middle on the night
• ·         The train, full of people from different cultural background, is trapped in the snowy mountain
• ·         Dame Judi Dench, Michelle Pfeiffer, Daisy Ridley and William Dafoe are among the suspects on board
• ·         Kenneth Branagh believes the killer still on the train and may strike again

Murder on the Orient Express is adapted from a novel of the same name by Agatha Christie

On a cold night inside the fully-booked Orient Express, the passengers are shocked to find themselves in the middle on nowhere as they train is stopped by a snowdrift. The next morning, more shocking news struck the passengers as one of their fellow passengers was brutally murdered the night before and the killer is still on the train. Luckily, also on board the train is Hercule Poirot, dubbed as the greatest detective in the world, commissioned by his friend, the director of the train company to solve the case before the killer strike again.

Murder on the Orient Express is one of Agatha Christie’s greatest mystery novels. Ever since its publication in 1934, the novel has been adapted into a movie in 1974 and three made-for-television film in 2001, 2010 and a Japanese version in 2015. Now, a new remake of the story is made starring Kenneth Branagh as Christie’s famous Belgian detective, Hercule Poirot.

The film is directed by Branagh himself with all-star cast boarding the Orient Express including Dame Judi Dench as Princess Dragomiroff, Michelle Pfeiffer as Mrs. Hubbard and Johnny Depp as Samuel Ratchett.

New elements are added into the movies such as having more people of color in the plot, notably presented Dr. (Colonel, in the novel) Arbuthnot as an African-American, portrayed by Hamilton star, Leslie Osdom Jr. as well as having some actions scene involving Arbuthnot and Poirot. A murder attempt also added in the movie, creating tension and suspicion between the passengers. Unlike the book where Poirot interviewed each passenger in the dining room inside the train, the movie has him interviewed the suspects in various places on the train such as kitchen, baggage room, compartment as well as having a picnic-like investigation outside the train, which make the movie less-claustrophobic than the novel.

Branagh’s portrayal as Hercule Poirot is different compare to the previous portrayals, still eccentric as it in the novel but in a lesser degree than Albert Finney in 1974, yet less-fierce than David Suchet’s Poirot in 2010, but still enjoyable to watch. But all praises should be awarded to Michelle Pfeiffer. Her acting near the ending of the movie is so moving that some viewers in the cinema couldn’t hold back their tears.

However, other casts in the movie only have a very small part, notably for Olivia Colman who played the German maid, Hildergarde Schmidth and Marwan Kenzari who played the conductor of the train. Their scene is too small that they only have few lines in the movie and such makes their characters less-important in the investigation compare to the novel.

As for the ending, although it sticks to the novel’s, the filmmakers added an extra element which similar to the 2010 version that would make viewers questioning their own morality on the case as they leave the cinema. Nevertheless, although it is not the best adaptation of the novel, it is enjoyable to watch.

by : Juhendy Setiawan

The Lake House

The Lake House

What if you found

The one you were meant for

But you lived two years apart…

Can this be happening?

The Lake House adalah sebuah film Drama Romance produksi Warner Brothers Pictures yang dibintangi oleh Sandra Bullock dan Keanu Reeves pada tahun 2006. The Lake House merupakan remake dari film Korea pada tahun 1999 berjudul Il Mare.

Aku pertama kali menonton film ini pada tanggal 28 Juni 2011 dimana aku meminjam film ini dari

How Can I Meet Bonnie Wright? (Part 2)

Pada hari berikutnya, aku mendapat ide untuk menulis surat kepada Bonnie, Jamie dan Freddie dengan maksud menanyakan pada mereka maukah mereka bertemu dengan kami, fans Harry Potter dari Belitung dengan cara menitipkan surat pada temanku yang sedang magang di hotel tempat mereka menginap. Ide ini sudah terlintas sebelumnya ketika aku mengetahui mereka akan berkunjung ke Belitung.